Oz 9

" Oz 9 " Podcast
Spring 2142 and Gated Galaxies has launched its 400 Oz-8000 ships, each carrying 50,000 "resting guests" to, hopefully, a new home on a shiny, brand-new planet. As soon as they find one. IF they find one. This is the story of one of those ships – the Oz 9 – and its tiny crew of hopeless incompetents. So far, they've been in space half an hour and several hundred people are dead. So... bright future, clearly.
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2019 by Shannon Kay Perry. All Rights Reserved.
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Season: 1 Episode: 1
episode one: What the f&#* is that smell??
Season: 1 Episode: 2
episode two: I had a cake all to meself
Season: 1 Episode: 3
episode three: Great heaving chesticles
Season: 1 Episode: 4
episode four: Space is great for sulking
Season: 1 Episode: 5
episode five: There's a zombie in the corridor
Season: 1 Episode: 6
episode six: Dark and starting to collect liquid
Season: 1 Episode: 7
episode seven: The biggest bunch of mindless wankers
Season: 1 Episode: 8
episode eight: Things that go stupid in the night
Season: 1 Episode: 9
In which: Colin makes a sausage-scented discovery, Rock and Donna talk murder, we learn about automatic chopsticks, and Olivia confesses that she might not be … all there. You’re listening to: Tim Sherburn as Colin Eric Perry as Joe Richard Cowen...
Season: 1 Episode: 10
episode ten: Fixing the ejaculax
Season: 1 Episode: 11
episode eleven: She might do some lasting pickles
Season: 1 Episode: 12
episode twelve: A bucket full of mime
Season: 1
Oz 9 Mini Episode 10 and a half
Season: 1 Episode: 13
episode thirteen: Aim for the mime
Season: 1 Episode: 14
Captain Jessie is now aboard the Oz 9, which is great, except she brought her assassin with her (pro tip: don't do that), and he's managed to get a hold of some fairly crucial information about the Oz 9.  Will our pointless but slightly endearing...
Season: 1
It's late, and there's an assassin loose aboard the Oz 9, but Leet isn't going to let that interrupt his conversation with sleeping people.  After all, in at least a dozen conversations, only one of them called him stupid. Leet really REALLY...
Season: 1 Episode: 15
Here's a shocker: the Oz 9 crew's lives are in danger. Suffocation, toxic gas, a loose assassin, the risk of being crushed under their own denseness–perils lurk around every corner and certainly between slices of bread. Still, they've managed to...
Season: 1 Episode: 16
'Allo, little piggies!  The notorious assassin le Bichon Frise is circling our crew like a vulture who hopes his prey drops soon because he's tired and hungry and a little cranky and frankly probably a little dehydrated and his blood sugar's low,...
Season: 1 Episode: 17
The episode that finally answers the critical question: why do robots climb like cows? There's an arm under the sofa, Jessie's dangling from a shelf in Maintenance Bay 15, and we learn what ligatures are for. It's, like, Day 7? 8? aboard the Oz 9, and...
Season: 1
It's that kind of day, innit? One minute, you're out having a quick ciggie next to the tip, and then the world goes all wobbly, and suddenly you're aboard someone else's spaceship, only it's held together with duct tape and optimism and crewed by the...
Season: 1 Episode: 18
You know that one colleague at work who is just hopeless? Tries earnestly to do the job, help out, and be useful, but usually ends up spilling his beer on the control panel and shorting out half the city? Yeah, would you mind taking him back because...
Season: 1 Episode: 19
If you've ever been in mortal peril, you know the most crucial decision you'll make in that situation is your choice of writing implement.  No? Well, that makes you smarter than this crowd, but before your head swells up just in time for bikini...
Season: 1 Episode: 20
Somewhere aboard the Oz 9, a bomb is ticking. Actually, a crap-ton of things are going wrong aboard the Oz 9; this is just the biggest and most likely to kill our crew the soonest. It's the final episode of Season 1, and our crew is, yes, yes, let's...
Season: 1
Oz 9 podcast is on a hiatus between seasons one and two, but you didn't think you were getting off the hook that easily, did you? Goodness, no.  In this spoiler-ridden, one-f-bomb-droppin' bonus episode (and we use the word "bonus" with some...
Season: 1
A behind-the-scenes, into-the-chaos peek into how Oz 9 gets made and why it's .... the way it is. There are some spoilers here, so be sure you listen to the whole of Season 1 (maybe 2 or 3 times) before you take this on. You've been listening to: Eric...
Season: 1
It's the much-awaited (or not really), highly anticipated (or sort of mediumly anticipated) Full Cast Q & A, including the guy who does our music! We had a rare opportunity to gather the entire cast of Oz 9 together in one room, so we quickly made...
Season: 2 Episode: 1
You're never going to guess what's going on aboard the Oz 9... Well, yes, you're right, they are in danger of their lives... And yes, right again, they've made a bunch of dumb mistakes that got them here... Ok, FINE, I guess you can guess, smart ass,...
Season: 2 Episode: 2
Name three animals that can see in the dark. What happens when an animal that couldn't... suddenly can? Given that it's happening aboard the Oz 9, my guess is that it isn't good. Strange things are afoot aboard our ship, and most of them are the crew....
Season: 2 Episode: 3
I think the lesson to be learned from this episode is, if you ever attend a cocktail party at Dr. von Haber Zetzer's, maybe don't eat the appetizers. You’ve been listening to:   June Clark Eubanks as Glenda   Bonnie Brantley as...
Season: 2
Who doesn't love a good origin story, amirite? Here's hoping you also love a mediocre one.  Even a sort of lousy one that involves a lot of people with fishy sounding names (you'll get that joke once you've heard it).  This is our...
Season: 2 Episode: 4
There's an assassin in memory storage ... that's just not something you hear every day, is it? Colin's eaten a highly questionable olive, Dr. von Haber Zetzer is learning about strange cultural phenomena, and something about different kinds of peas....
Season: 2 Episode: 5
Leet's in Dr. von Haber Zetzer's lab, and you know no good can come of that. Colin is lethally in need of a nap, and the Albatros is on the hunt for a husband.  Things are weird aboard the Oz 9, and that's saying something. You’ve been...
Season: 2
It's the Oz 9, so of course they even manage to screw up Halloween.  What do you do if there's an open and empty coffin in the hold of your ship?  No, really, what do YOU do, because we've got bugger all for ideas. You've been listening to...
Season: 2 Episode: 6
Earth is starting to feel the loss of its most dependable consumers, it's chaos all 'round, and I got a fricking paper cut putting this episode together, so if you want to know what it's about, well, I guess you'll just have to listen, won't you. Just...
Season: 2 Episode: 7
Does it sometimes seem like everything that is trying to kill you wants to talk to you about it first? I mean, I don't really feel like I need to connect with you on an emotional level when I'm just trying to keep breathing. In episode 27, a very...
Season: 2 Episode: 8
An episode so full of unexpected twist and turns, you should probably schedule an appointment with your chiropractor now.  Wet sandwiches, heat-resistant foxes, and some highly suspect popcorn flavoring are the very least of the crew's problems...
Season: 2 Episode: 9
Episode 29, in which we learn the meaning of the Scottish slang word "boaking." Repeatedly. In vivid color. In this episode, the world has gone topsy turvy — up is down, left is right, enemies are friends... But the fugu is still poisonous, and our...
Season: 2
On December 4, 2019, Oz 9 did a live show at the South Side Podfest at Bar 171 in Chicago, Illinois.  It was the evening of the Annual Assassins Holiday Dinner. Of course, the Albatros and le Bichon Frise attended, with chaperone Cpt. Madeline,...
Season: 2 Episode: 10
It's the holiday season aboard the Oz 9, though how that happened when they launched in spring, like, a month ago, is anyone's guess.  But whatever the case, there's a mysterious box in Cargo Bay 7, and whether it was delivered by Santa or...
Season: 2 Episode: 11
I... we... they... Seriously? This is... It just...  SERIOUSLY? You've been listening to: June Clark Eubanks as Glenda and the Albatros Bonnie Brantley as Donna and Jessie Tim Sherburn as Colin, Buck, and Emily Eric Perry as Mr. Southers, Head 1,...
Season: 2
Otherwise known as "The Origin of Colin Smith," this mini ep gives some background into- Ah ah — you almost got me, there. Nope. I'm not telling. I'm afraid you'll have to listen like it's 2020 or something. You're listening to: Eric Perry as Mr....
Season: 2 Episode: 12
I've pretty much decided that some weeks ago, I ate the fugu, and everything since has been some sort of weird fever dream. I mean, that's the only thing that makes sense, right? RIGHT? You’ve been listening to: Kevin Hall as Cal and Greg the...
Season: 2 Episode: 13
No one said life in space would be easy. Though if they'd listened closely, the people buying seats on the Oz ships might have heard G2 officials mutter under their breath about how easy death in space was going to be ... Anyway, it's a Thursday...
Season: 2 Episode: 14
What do you do when your Otologostealth X13 runs out of charge?  That wasn't actually a rhetorical question — the manual is in Ancient Mesopotamian (we think) and none of the charging cables we have fits. Anyone? Anyway, we say goodbye to a...
Season: 2 Episode: 15
Beans — BIG beans — are about to be spilled aboard the Oz 9, and that could spell trouble for the crew. Especially if the beans land in a very particular way that happens to spell "trouble." And someone aboard the Oz 9 is not doing their job....
Season: 2 Episode: 16
Pod poetry is generally considered to be the 3rd worst in the universe. If you have a weak liver or any sort of cheese allergy, you might want to check with a doctor before listening to this episode. You're listening to: Bonnie Brantley as Jessie and...
Season: 2 Episode: 17
Despite Joe's best attempts to keep the Oz 9 free of ... icky things, a very large, armed, and presumably hostile icky thing has taken over the bridge. This has just been one of those space voyages, hasn't it?  You're listening to: Iri Alexander...
Season: 2 Episode: 18
Look, I've been up all night, and seriously the first person to speak to me may find themselves trying to pour coffee into a stump. Like, where their head used to be, not a tree, that was supposed to be sort of threatening and scary. Never mind....
Season: 2 Episode: 19
Episode 39 means one more until the end of Season 2, and where we're going is no clearer than the muck at the bottom of the bioswamp. But hey, you've gotten this far, you might as well stick with us a little longer. Eventually, it'll all make sense....
Season: 2 Episode: 20
It's the end of Season 2, and our crew are still dumb, still in space, and still hovering at the edge of death. Thanks to all the zig zagging around the galaxy, they're nearly back where they started, and the forniculator still hasn't been fixed. So,...
Season: 2
The Oz ships failed under mysterious circumstances entirely caused by their on-board crews or natural disaster wholly unrelated to Gated Galaxies or its subsidiaries, officers, or agents. G2 accepts no responsibility or liability for loss of liberty,...
Season: 2
If you think Oz 9 looks like chaos from the front, well, it's just as raggedy and unkempt 'round the back (if slightly less dangerous). In this bonus episode for our hiatus, our 4 newest cast members, David S. Dear, Sarah Golding, Kevin Hall, and Iri...
If you've ever wondered about our crew's lives before they got wrapped up in the drama of the Oz 9, well, keep wondering, because you're not going to learn a damn thing from this disaster of an episode.  You're listening to: Eric Perry as Dr. von...
Season: 3 Episode: 1
Welcome back, space monkeys! We hope you enjoyed your six-week excursion ashore. Watch your step, the gangplank is slippery and also there's no oxygen out here, so look lively. Take your seats, please; we'll be setting adrift...sorry, a-sail again...
Season: 3 Episode: 2
Something nefarious is happening on a golf course in French Lick, Indiana. Actually, several nefarious things. Well, OK, like, three... maybe four nefarious things, and then a whole bunch of naughty things. Look, we're losing the point here. ...
Season: 3 Episode: 3
Perhaps you've heard about the mold that's eating radioactive materials around Chernobyl? And that scientists are considering insulating spacecraft and astronauts suits with the stuff to protect them from solar radiation? We're not imagining things up...
Season: 3 Episode: 4
If you've been keeping up with the antics of that zany crew aboard the Oz 9- Have you ever considered taking up a REAL hobby? Like stamps or shuffleboard or knitting quilts or something? It's episode 44, and no one is any smarter than they were 43...
Season: 3 Episode: 5
It's really late. The kind of late that keeps on getting later until it circles back round to early. When I'm this blurry and tired, I'm likely to say anything. Like how much more bearable life became on this ship with we busted Dr. Theo out of his...
Season: 3 Episode: 6
Probably the most remarkable thing that happens in this entire episode is that Le Bichon Frise pronounces "assassinate" correctly. I know. We were pretty shocked too. It happens at the bottom of page 3, so if you just want to hear that and skip the...
Season: 3 Episode: 7
What would you do if everything in your garden suddenly attacked you? Carrots shooting themselves at your eyes, radishes nibbling tiny, spicy holes in your ankles, kohlrabi shouting at you, probably in German, given how "kohlrabi" is spelled — does...
Season: 3 Episode: 8
Remember how there was that one week you were sick or maybe just on vacation but too poor to go anywhere? And you watched daytime TV, and even though you knew it was ridiculous and cheesy, by Friday you were desperate to know if little Suzy really was...
Season: 3 Episode: 9
I'd apologize for this being so late, but if you think about it, I gave you an extra 16-and-a-half Oz-free hours, which is, like, a decade in idiot years. It's been a long day aboard the Oz 9. You think bad decision making is easy — Doritos for...
Season: 3 Episode: 10
Humans on the receiving end of divine affections don't do so well, mythologically speaking. However, after having seen Donna in action, the smart money is on the homo sapien. , if he knows what's good for him. With this episode, we are officially...
Season: 3
EARLIER SOUND ISSUES HAVE BEEN CORRECTED, AND OUR PRODUCTION PERSON HAS BEEN FWIIIIIIIIIIII...... What happens when the alien aboard your ship gets hungry?  Usually really gross things involving lots of blood and gore and that, but fortunately...
Season: 3
Merry Christmas, ya bums.
Season: 3
To punish Kevin Hall for having the gall to ... something, I can't remember what it was he did, but for sure he did something really bad to merit this kind of response.... Anyway, maybe just to be mean, we made him relisten to Oz 9, write a bunch of...
Season: 3 Episode: 11
The crew aboard the Oz 9 are stalactites, holding tight to the ceiling in unexpected zero Gs, and the crew on the ground are stalagmites, who might survive if a crabby, oddly dressed ancient god decides to let them go. You know, same old same old. Oz...
Season: 3 Episode: 12
Do you know how to disable an invisible alarm? Yeah, well, listen close; someone on our crew is about to tell you. Well, maybe... we're not entirely sure it works, so I don't know that I'd test it at the Louvre. Maybe Paddy MacDougal's Museum...
Season: 3 Episode: 13
The universe may be crashing around your ears, but as long as you know the difference between who and whom and how to scoop up a dangling participle, you'll be all right. It's kind of like knowing where your towel is. In this very special episode, a...
Season: 3 Episode: 14
All the backstory you never wanted and then some. We find out some stuff about Le Bichon Frise, some other stuff about Donna, blah blah blah. Greg falls over at one point, so that's pretty funny.  I'd say "sorry it's so late," but I feel like I...
Season: 3 Episode: 15
OK, OK, yes, it's late AGAIN. We know. We've been having a really rough time lately, the kids are sick, the roof caved in when we had that thunderstorm last week, and then there was that other thing.... No, you're right. None of that is true. Our...
Season: 3
A rift in time and space causes four members of the Oz 9 crew to get pulled off the space ship (bringing the median IQ up a significant number of notches) and swapped with four members of the EMF (aaaaaaaaaaand we're back to where we were, IQ-wise)....
Season: 3 Episode: 16
I'm contractually obligated to tell you that we're running a to try to fund turning Oz 9 into a comic book. So please give us money, if you can, or tell other people to give us money. Or both. Thanks and whatever. Here's a surprise: Jessie doesn't...
Season: 3 Episode: 17
This episode begins with a funeral, so you might want to have tissues handy. The production assistant was supposed to get hypo-allergenic flowers for the ceremony but managed to find hyper-allergenic ones, which don't only make you sneeze, they cram...
Season: 3 Episode: 18
With just three episodes (well, this one plus two more) left in the season, is that a cliff I see ahead? With a small branch protruding from its face, just right for hanging? Things are moving along at a rapid pace, much like the Oz 9 isn't, and there...
Season: 3 Episode: 19
You've been awesome! No, really. I'd love to be able to reward your patience, but instead I just have an episode. I know it's not much, but I made it myself.  One more episode to close out the season: are you ready? No. You're not. Sorry, but you...
Season: 3 Episode: 20
This one is a beast. Go to the bathroom, get some water, maybe load up on some snacks. Is your listening device charged?  Get comfy. We have a lot to tell. You've been listening to: Tim Sherburn as Colin, Buck, and Emily Richard Cowen as Leet and...
Season: 3
"The hiatus ate us!" That line, courtesy of the brilliant Bonnie Brantley, is all too true.  We started our hiatus with great plans to do all kinds of fun Oz 9-y things in all that copious free time, only to have our ideas evaporate in the harsh...
Season: 3
We'd like to dedicate this second hiatus episode to our one fan in Zambia. To date, according to our stats, there have been 86 downloads in Zambia. We figure that's one fan who listened to every episode, including all the hiatus and bonus stuff, and...
Season: 3
Written by Lee Shackleford of the awesome sci-fi audio drama , this bonus episode exposes you to yet more of Oz 9 that you were hoping to avoid. Is it possible an advanced alien species is coming aboard the ship? Well, yeah, I mean — they're in...
Season: 4 Episode: 1
LOOK. I never said it would be the MORNING of September 19, I just said it would be ON September 19, so I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT. It's episode 61, and incredibly, it seems our crew might have actually lost some brain cells over the hiatus. I swear, if...
Season: 4 Episode: 2
It's true many people complain that Oz 9 is not only NOT educational, it may in fact "leach information out of your brain as you listen." (thanks, mom — real nice) We beg to differ. Did you know zebras were once called "hippotigruses" (hippotigri?...
Season: 4 Episode: 3
You thought your job was hard, imagine being Narrator (or Narrator 2, really) for this boatload of Twinkies. (Which, incidentally have still not shown any signs of decomposition in 2142, just sayin'.) If our Narrator makes it through his contract...
Season: 4 Episode: 4
Yeah, it's kind of a long title, but it's an important question.  This episode is a flashback in which random, weird stuff happens, just in case you were wondering if 2021 and 2022 were the weirdest history gets.  You've been listening to...
Season: 4 Episode: 5
Have you ever wondered about HOW the Oz ships were retrofitted for long space journeys? Us too.  We still do. Hey, stay till the end to hear the trailer for the glorious podcast . HIGHLY recommended!  You're listening to: Lee Shackleford as...
Season: 4 Episode: 6
It's the holiday season, and our gift to you is.... some stupid. We made it ourselves.  You've been listening to: Aaron Clark as Ben Bonnie Brantley as Donna Iri Alexander as Julie Lee Shackleford as Pluto Sarah Golding as Mrs Sheffield Kevin...
Season: 4 Episode: 7
We hope you all had a great holiday season.  We didn't. Something blew up and it stunk like crazy, but we still have no idea what it was, and Dr. von Haber Zetzer's not talking. We're not sure if that's because he's guilty or in shock, but either...
Season: 4 Episode: 8
Leet's been boiling up ... well, we're not sure what those are. He thought they were apples, and he was trying to make apple cider. Or maybe apple sauce, we're not really clear what he was aiming for. In any event, he ended up with something that can...
Season: 4 Episode: 9
It's episode 69, and the whole world is just upside down.  Oh, come on, not even ONE "sixty-nine" joke? Sheesh. You've been listening to... Sarah Golding as Mrs Sheffield Lee Shackleford as Pluto Aaron Clark as Ben Iri Alexander as Julie Eric...
Season: 4 Episode: 10
Oh, hell, now we're getting all Lord of the Ringsy with sacred tokens and some sort of binding agent to herd them all or whatever, blah blah blah. We're back on board the Oz 9, and the crew is far more interested in their next cocktail than in, I...
Season: 4 Episode: 11
If you've never had chocolate milkweed with rosemallows, you're really missing out. On stomach upset, whiplash-inducing vomiting, an itchy rash, and unconsciousness, which is really the best part. Despite the litany of side effects, Leet is dishing up...
Season: 4
It's a story about newts. A story that turned its author into Public Enemy #2. Yeah, you're going to want to hear this. Newts is a production of PRX and The Truth Podcast. It’s created by Ian Coss and Sam Jay Gold. Find it by searching for "Newts...
Season: 4
Content Warning: Big emotions around death and suicide. Before he left us, Richard recorded several episodes ahead. Hard as it is to hear his voice, it's also a joy to have a little more Narrator to share. He wanted these episodes to go out, and we...
Season: 4 Episode: 12
Content warning: Richard narrates this episode, so take care of you.  To start, massive cahooty thanks to Oliver Morris of without whom this episode might never have gotten edited and out. And do stay tuned for a taste of Kane and Feels at the...
Season: 4 Episode: 13
Warning: this is narrated by Richard, so take care of you.  Brugmansia, it turns out, isn't a type of Italian leather shoe. Nor is it the third movement of something by Beethoven. And it is definitely NOT edible. But it can be stuck in one's...
Season: 4 Episode: 14
Note: This episode is narrated by Richard Nadolny. It's episode 74, and you know what that means.... DO you know what it means? Could you write it on a note and slip it to us during study hall, because we've got nothing. Things are just Nutty...
Season: 4 Episode: 15
Note: This is the final episode narrated by Richard Nadolny. His fabulous daughter Chris Nadolny Gourley takes over the mic in 76. Other note: despite what the credits say, this episode was edited by Sarah Golding and sound designed by Oliver Morris....
Season: 4 Episode: 16
It's entirely possible this story has spun a wee bit out of control. But then, isn't that a lot like...life? I mean, take your basic ergonomic keyboard. Don't you want to bash its tiny electronic brains out on a rock, only it was expensive and...
Season: 4 Episode: 17
Content warning: There are some big emotions in this one, so please take care of you. We're getting closer to the end of Season 4, and ... well, that's it, really. We're getting closer. Break out the confetti because you get a break from us! Well,...
Season: 4 Episode: 18
Is anyone else hearing a weird ... flapping sound? And feeling a tiny bit of a breeze? But like, a weirdly hostile breeze that's just coiled up and waiting to turn into a tornado, given even a hint of a reason? Just me? Huh. Well, it's episode 78, and...
Season: 4 Episode: 19
It's possible someone dies in this episode. I mean, it's possible someone dies in EVERY episode — it's really pretty astonishing when no one does — so you should probably pay attention today so you understand the chatter around the old fishbowl at...
Season: 4 Episode: 20
I'M LATE TO THE LISTEN ALONG, SO THIS IS WHAT YOU GET. 
Season: 4
If you struggled through the classically complex and layered story of the last four seasons, you're not alone. It was, as Mrs Sheffield has it, "more twisty-turny than my graduate teaching assistant's insides after my AP Honours' Intestinal Inversion...
Season: 4
Welcome to the Audiotorium. It's Discussing Oz 9, with Narrator and Narrator 2, Pluto, and other assorted folks. If you're not familiar with the Discussing Network and their stable of shows, Discussing Who, Discussing Trek, and Discussing Comics, you...
Season: 4
I tell ya, you turn your back for, like, three months, and someone just shoulders their way in there and takes over your ship, your characters... sheeesh. ANYWAY, if you're familiar with A Ninth World Journal or Deconstructive Criticism, you've...
Season: 5 Episode: 1
Yes, I KNOW we said January, but hey, it's January somewhere, right? The Oz 9 crew are finally (?) done with their plant-based emergency and have broken free of the Milky Way Galaxy. They're currently lurking in a galaxy that (if you're looking at it...
Season: 5 Episode: 2
Our crew land on a strange planet ... and find someone truly strange.  BUT: here's your chance to hear a chunk of Dr. Theo's novel as our turnip greens attempt to evade what Joe refers to as "the stupidest way to die we've come up with yet."...
Season: 5
The Livestream for the Cure starts on May 17 and probably ends abruptly with much screaming on SATURDAY (not Sunday, ooops) May 20th at 8 pm when the Oz 9 crew takes over. We hope you'll join us.  Learn more here:

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