Oz 9
It's Spring 2142 (a Tuesday), and Gated Galaxies has launched its 400 Oz-8000 ships, each carrying 50,000 "resting guests" to, hopefully, a new home on a shiny, brand-new planet. Except this whole "terraform and take over" idea isn't actually the plan; the real plan is far more nefarious and involves a great deal of cackling. But those aboard the ships don't know that, so off they toodle (those that make it out of Earth's atmosphere, at least), all shiny and optimistic. This is the story of one of those ships – the Oz 9 – and its tiny crew of hopeless incompetents. So far, they've been in space half an hour and several hundred people are dead. So... bright future, clearly.
Website:
Copyright:
2019 by Shannon Kay Perry. All Rights Reserved.
episode three: Great heaving chesticles
Season: 1
Episode: 3
just don't throw things out windows. or airlocks.
episode four: Space is great for sulking
Season: 1
Episode: 4
It's true that the tooth isn't the only thing 'cracked' around here.
episode five: There's a zombie in the corridor
Season: 1
Episode: 5
there’s a rapidly decomposing dead person in the corridor
episode six: Dark and starting to collect liquid
Season: 1
Episode: 6
Are you OK with squelchy? There's lots of squelchy.
episode seven: The biggest bunch of mindless wankers
Season: 1
Episode: 7
I'm an easter egg. Congrats. You found me.
episode eight: Things that go stupid in the night
Season: 1
Episode: 8
where that whole "night vision goggles" thing starts
episode nine: Mind the gap
Season: 1
Episode: 9
far too many sausages in this one. ain't that always the case? amirite?
episode ten: Fixing the ejaculax
Season: 1
Episode: 10
Probably safe for work, but only if your colleagues have zero imagination.
episode eleven: She might do some lasting pickles
Season: 1
Episode: 11
What the hell do you mean "Day TWO"?
episode twelve: A bucket full of mime
Season: 1
Episode: 12
I know what you're thinking, and you're dead wrong.
episode thirteen: Aim for the mime
Season: 1
Episode: 13
Aaaaaaaaand the accents aboard this ship just got 97% worse.
episode fourteen: Of baguettes and bastards
Season: 1
Episode: 14
Welcome aboard, FORMER captain Jessie
episode sixteen: We are not breathing the passengers
Season: 1
Episode: 16
It's not always bad to have an Albatros aboard your ship.
episode seventeen: So the deed could not be done
Season: 1
Episode: 17
Did you know robots can't climb?
Bonus: Between the wormhole and the Rinse McGoo
Season: 1
Subtitles are for sissies, but this is ep 17.5ish
episode nineteen: Peeing in a bucket and eating pocket lint
Season: 1
Episode: 19
Pocket lint with just a hint of sriracha isn't half bad.
episode twenty: In space, no one can hear you stupid
Season: 1
Episode: 20
Maybe don't listen to this episode at the airport....
Bonus Cast interviews: Colin, Leet, LBF, the Albatros
Season: 1
Wherein the use of the word "jamokes" appears
episode twenty-one: You're not getting a tombstone
Season: 2
Episode: 21
You're on episode 21. Isn't it time to buy a t-shirt?
Bonus: Can you give yourself the finger?
Season: 2
Sort of 23.5ish in the order. You're going to want a jacket.
Bonus: It's an Oz 9 Halloween
Season: 2
It's the Oz 9, so of course they even manage to screw up Halloween.
episode twenty-eight: Not a sane pair of lederhosen on this ship
Season: 2
Episode: 28
Shared sandwiches because misery loves company
episode twenty-nine: A rather amorous gecko
Season: 2
Episode: 29
Boaking is not for the faint of heart
Bonus: The Annual Assassins Holiday Dinner
Season: 2
Honestly, we had no idea what really WAS coming.
episode thirty: There's an armpit method?
Season: 2
Episode: 30
Do we ever get to the armpit thing? That sounds useful.
Bonus episode thirty-one and a half: Scrummy nuns and dodgy deacons
Season: 2
Otherwise known as "The Origin of Colin Smith"
episode thirty-two: It's stuck in my cravat
Season: 2
Episode: 32
I ate the fugu. It's the only explanation.
episode thirty-four: Fly, you beautiful bastard, fly
Season: 2
Episode: 34
What do you do when your Otologostealth X13 runs out of charge?
episode thirty-five: Rabid egret eggs and something vaguely chivelike
Season: 2
Episode: 35
Well, this is just silly.
episode thirty-six: There once was a garçon from Bordeaux
Season: 2
Episode: 36
Pod poetry — just don't do it.
episode thirty-seven: Hung up like a deli chicken
Season: 2
Episode: 37
A large, armed, and presumably hostile icky thing has taken over the bridge
episode thirty-nine: From last cluck to a bucket of extra crispy
Season: 2
Episode: 39
The bioswamp was on purpose. Wow.
episode forty: Be prepared to lose body hair
Season: 2
Episode: 40
Still hovering at the edge of death
Bonus: The Oz 8000 Biosphere: Portrait of a Refuge
Season: 2
Before listening, you'll need to sign here:
Bonus: Oz 9 hiatus episode: We'll always have ...
Season: 2
I hope you don't think there's additional information in the subtitle?
episode forty-two: Escaping at a brisk walk
Season: 3
Episode: 42
With love to the hoopiest frood of all, Douglas Adams
episode forty-three: Found their fillings in a compost pile
Season: 3
Episode: 43
Radioactive mold that is entirely not our fault
episode forty-four: It's very hard to do science in this position
Season: 3
Episode: 44
Avocado yogurt... Avocado yogurt...
episode forty-five: Who doesn't love a decorative bunting?
Season: 3
Episode: 45
So, have you met Dr. Theo yet?
episode forty-eight: We only have three minutes
Season: 3
Episode: 48
I didn't like the original title. So I changed it.
episode forty-nine: I'm soft, squishy, and covered in Hollandaise sauce
Season: 3
Episode: 49
It's been a long day.
episode fifty: M'Lady of Little Chadwick upon Bad Patter
Season: 3
Episode: 50
Humans on the receiving end of divine affections don't do so well, mythologically speaking. However, after having seen Donna in action, the smart money is on the homo sapien. , if he knows what's good for him. With this episode, we are officially...
episode fifty-one: I look damn good in jodhpurs
Season: 3
Episode: 51
You might need a brainwash after this
episode fifty-three: Where's Grammar Girl when you need her?
Season: 3
Episode: 53
All hail the awesome Grammar Girl!!!
episode fifty-five: Monkey Man, gather the sweets
Season: 3
Episode: 55
Is the subtitle optional? Does anyone know?
episode fifty-six: Our future together is suddenly in doubt
Season: 3
Episode: 56
Psst. Hey kid. Want a comic book?
episode fifty-seven: But then I also say higgledy piggledy
Season: 3
Episode: 57
bought a comic book yet?
episode fifty-nine: Quality control. Also, nibbles.
Season: 3
Episode: 59
Keep the smoking ruins coming, plz. I'm still conscious.
episode sixty: Your breath smells of caramel and butterscotch
Season: 3
Episode: 60
This one is a beast.
episode sixty-one: The "tilslørte bondepiker" maneuver
Season: 4
Episode: 61
It doesn't make any sense
episode sixty-three: You are a naughty little schatzi
Season: 4
Episode: 63
Avocado yogurt.... just keep saying it.
episode sixty-seven: I haf been tinkering vis my shavink foam
Season: 4
Episode: 67
Fun times, huh? Fun times....
episode sixty-eight: Hold our swamp hooch
Season: 4
Episode: 68
Oh yeah, that whole kidnap-the-narrator thing
episode sixty-nine (giggle): Tighter than a Minnesotan Manhole
Season: 4
Episode: 69
It's episode 69, and the whole world is just upside down.
episode seventy: Do we have any more tuber tots?
Season: 4
Episode: 70
Welcome to the dollar store version of LOTR
episode seventy-one: Rumblings in the astral region
Season: 4
Episode: 71
chocolate milkweed with rosemallows
Bonus: Oz 9 Past, present, and (dare we say it) future
Season: 4
Content Warning: Big emotions around death and suicide. Before he left us, Richard recorded several episodes ahead. Hard as it is to hear his voice, it's also a joy to have a little more Narrator to share. He wanted these episodes to go out, and we...
episode seventy-three: Is that a Giant Turnip?
Season: 4
Episode: 73
Brugmansia is a real thing, FYI
episode seventy-six: Covered in goat dung and yodelers
Season: 4
Episode: 76
Sorry, fresh out of snark
episode seventy-eight: Is anyone else seeing wings?
Season: 4
Episode: 78
I hear flapping and for once it ain't lips
episode seventy-nine: Sand where no man is making pearls
Season: 4
Episode: 79
just hold yer oysters
episode eighty: Oh my giddy aunt
Season: 4
Episode: 80
I'M LATE TO THE LISTEN ALONG, SO THIS IS WHAT YOU GET.
episode eighty-one: Hangover remedies and really good sunscreen
Season: 5
Episode: 81
we made it to series FIVE?
episode eighty-two: Keep your knickers out of the biscuit tin
Season: 5
Episode: 82
depending on the kindness of stranger-than-average
episode eighty-four: Would it help if I spoke stupid?
Season: 5
Episode: 84
How big is this ridiculous ship?
episode eighty-five: Dirty, greasy oligarchs
Season: 5
Episode: 85
quiz: do alligators give live birth?
episode eighty-nine: Adorable and very merchandisable
Season: 5
Episode: 89
Beware the amorous egrets
episode ninety-one: Measuring tape awareness day
Season: 5
Episode: 91
It's 10 PM — do you know where your measuring tape is? Really? Great... can I borrow it?
episode ninety-two: A Midsummer Night's ... whatever the hell this is
Season: 5
Episode: 92
with apologies... to pretty much everyone, frankly
episode ninety-four: Expensive perfume and cheap shots
Season: 5
Episode: 94
It's.... another wormhole.
episode ninety-five: Spill or be spilled
Season: 5
Episode: 95
ICYMI, we're talking about secrets and blood here
Check out The Sprouting!
Olivia frequently just gets bored watching the crew of the Oz 9 tangle themselves up in disasters of their own making, and lately she's been downloading podcasts to listen to. She recently stumbled across The Sprouting, a show about battling plants (wait for it) .... cleverly. And she liked it. Like ... a lot. She doesn't like ANYTHING, so we're all a bit shocked over here.
Please take a listen to the supercut of The Sprouting, then find the show wherever you listen to podcasts!
Dear listener,
Welcome back to The Cradle. Our protagonists meet at a fuel stop... sorry, Gas Station... and come to the realization that travelling onwards as a group is far safer than travelling alone. As they navigate this eldritch plant strewn world, what horrors might they encounter?
I guess you're about to find out.
BIG thank you to:
Karim Kronfli for Roland
Tanja Milojevic for OTI
Find the authors:
Email: sprouting@blighthouse.studio
Website: https://linktr.ee/thesprouting
Discord: https://discord.gg/vtgnVAZY44
Support: http://www.Patreon.com/blighthouse
This is a Blighthouse Studio production.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
episode ninety-six: Why is there a bar on the bridge?
Season: 5
Episode: 96
This bloody episode grumble grumble pro tools editing error 6090 what the hell is that even
episode ninety-seven: Well, this is unexpected
Season: 5
Episode: 97
Yeah, the sounds are way better.
episode ninety-nine: Put your kidneys on speaker
Season: 5
Episode: 99
With the end of Season 5 just .... an indeterminate time but probably about two weeks away, the eternal Tuesday of the spotless (thanks to Joe) 9 is getting darker, scarier, and downright rude.
We hope you'll join us (though in good conscience we can't recommend it) as we spin and flip and spiral out of control toward the last episode of this season. Bring lozenges — there's gonna be a lot of shouting.
You've been listening to:
Tim Sherburn as Colin
Shannon Perry as Captain Madeline and Olivia
Bonnie Brantley as Jessie and Donna
Eric Perry as Joe and Dr. von Haber Zetzer
Kevin Hall as Greg
Sarah Rhea Werner as Pipistrelle
Chrisi Talyn Saje as Julie
Lee Shackleford as Pluto
Sarah Golding as Mrs Sheffield
David S. Dear as Dr. Theo Bromae
Special guests John, Faith, and Emmet Dowgin as our Spectres and the Dead Astronaut
Kyle Jones is your Narrator 2,
Chris Nadolny Gourley is your Narrator
Many thanks to cast-favorite podcast Mission: Rejected for lending us the Dowgins!
We'll be doing a live listen-along of our season 5 finale, so eventually you'll be able to find details on our website, Oz-9.com.
Our music is composed and performed by John Faley; Lucas Elliott creates our artwork. Sarah Golding is our dialogue editor. Mark Restuccia is our sound designer. Oz 9 is written by Shannon Perry.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Desert Skies
Listen up, Space Monkeys! We did the hard work of vetting a very fun new podcast for you, so now all YOU have to do is listen to it. YOU'RE WELCOME.
It's Desert Skies, a quirky, comedic, and heartfelt sci-fi podcast about life between this world and the next. The story takes place along the road of a lonely highway at a gas station in the afterlife called Desert Skies Astral Plane Fuel and Service Station. The staff at the station help new arrivals in the afterlife get ready to embark on their journey through the celestial spheres. You’ll meet Tendy the Attendant, Mac the Mechanic, and C.A.S.H the sentient cash register, and together they’ll make sure you’re prepared for the ride.
We truly enjoyed listening and are sure you will too. Find the show wherever you get your podcasts, or by clicking this link: https://pod.link/1634726836
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Have You Met Madison Yet?
Season: 5
While Oz 9 is on hiatus (or "in hiding for tax purposes"), it's a great time to discover some new podcasts to binge. So if you're looking to adopt your next best friend, we've got you, fam.
Madison On the Air is a "love letter to olde-tyme radio." Madison is a modern-day influencer who gets mysteriously yoiked back in time and shows up in some old time radio episodes. She brings her own modern attitude and utter chaos to the stories, and there's a rich back-catalog of shows you've likely heard of, even if you've never actually heard them.
You may recognize creator, writer, and star Chrisi Talyn Saje — she took over the role of Julie on the Oz 9. But before she was our botanist, she was Madison Standish, cosmetics influencer and time traveler.
Pretty much every episode is stand-alone, so as Chrisi says, if you find a title you like, jump in! The one you'll hear here is Forbidden Planet. Have a listen, then be sure to subscribe!
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
episode one hundred & one: "Crap" indeed. Meanwhile...
Season: 6
Episode: 101
Season Six Begins! Sorry.
episode one hundred & three: A hungry, long-tailed weasel
Season: 6
Episode: 103
It'll make sense when you hear the episode
episode one hundred & four: #GreatSatansBoletes
Season: 6
Episode: 104
That doesn't mean. what you think it means
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