The Mountain's Heart

"    The Mountain's Heart " Podcast
For the first time since a serious car accident forced her to drop out of university and left her with injuries that may not ever heal, Felisa returns to the Philippines with her parents. Ultimately, she knows her life has not been what they were hoping it would be, but for the sake of the school assignment given to her to make up for the class she’ll miss, Felisa will document her trip with a series of audio recordings. Trips like this are mostly domestic bliss, but for they sake of her assignment, the family is planning a few outings, including a trip to a rather famous mountain whose guardian—unbeknownst to her—still lingers.

Copyright 2022 The Mountain's Heart

In the beginning, there was a… Not so stellar introduction. And airports don’t make for great recording spaces, but Felisa is trying to make it work. After all, this is an assignment. More accurately, it’s part of a deal she made with her class instr...

To make her trip to the Philippines possible, Felisa needs to make a series of audio files documenting her experience.   Before she leaves, her professor has some reflection questions for Felisa to answer.   CW: for ableism ----

Felisa's first true audio blog, recorded shortly after landing. It's her first full day in the Philippines. But not where she maybe should have been. She promises she means that literally though.   CW: for ableism; insecurity after a traumatic injury...

A new day means a good breakfast. And a new start now that Felisa is somewhat able to handle the drive. But really, transit was only  part of the issue. There's still the anticipation of what comes next, but she has a weird relationship with waiting..

[Note: Honestly, it seems wrong to post this when people more able than me are fighting for equality, but maybe someone else (someone who has been fighting) needs the same sort of break I always took, namely breaks into fiction. Take care of each other,

Cemetery visits always cause some retrospection. But for Felisa, it was always going to be a complicated topic. So even though she already made a tape for the day, she had to make another one. It really couldn't be helped.  

After a surprise anniversary party and chicken mishaps, Felisa is feeling more dejected then ever. Partially because she started thinking about her hair and all the things she'll never be able to do with it. They say no one wins the what-if game,

Well, Felisa was never going to escape the party without consequences. They just weren't the consequences she was expecting: i.e. a chicken related injury. But now that she has to think about certain things again,

Felisa thinks she's made her choice. But after an all-nighter, she can't really trust her judgment so much. Also, she's not sure if she can call it judgment.   CW: for ableism, particularly internalized ableism; insecurity after a traumatic injury

It turns out that Felisa's professor has been listening along the whole time. Which she wasn't expecting. But as a result, there's some points, Felisa needs to clarify. Poorly.   CW: for ableism, particularly internalized ableism; insecurity after a ...

A stormed passed. Not the one in Felisa's head. That one isn't going away any time soon, especially not with her godson involved.   CW: for ableism, particularly internalized ableism; insecurity after a traumatic injury ----

Before they hit the road, Felisa has a report to make: about a conversation she had and all the questions it couldn't answer.   CW: for ableism, particularly internalized ableism; insecurity after a traumatic injury ---- Sound Effects from Freesound.

Felisa has so much to say. She always does. Wasn't it inevitable that she would snap and let it all out at once?   CW: for ableism, particularly internalized ableism; more mentions of the accident ---- Sound Effects from

Felisa's mom might bulldoze over her emotional well being sometimes, but occasionally it works out. In this case, Felisa finds out part of her Grandfather's story that she wasn't meant to know.   CW: for dysfunctional parent/child relationship, ----

For all of Felisa's insecurities, she can finally see what a terrible family visit really entails. She does get something else: a lead. And a reason or two to be afraid.   CW: for dysfunctional families   NOW WITH A MERCH STORE - https://teespring.

Research might seem like a virtue, but it isn't always. Felisa tries to piece together what her 'cousin' was telling her, but it's not the sort of answer she's used to.   CW: for dysfunctional families   NOW WITH A MERCH STORE - https://teespring.

Learning how to walk again wasn't the first time Felisa had to adapt to less than ideal circumstances. She's been doing this twisting and adjusting for a while. Not that she should have to. Even she knows that.  

Technical issues were bound to happen, but it happened with the recording Felisa was most desperate to share.   CW: for dysfunctional families; parental abuse - emotional/mental   NOW WITH A MERCH STORE - https://teespring.

Felisa's life in the aftermath of a brief disappearance is unclear. Everyone wants to know what happened, but as the one person who does, Felisa is worried she can't make sense of it. Cue her old coping mechanisms.

Knowing she needs support, Felisa's professor tries to be comforting, but--as Felisa points out--one person can only go so far.   CW: for dysfunctional families; strong warning for ableism   NOW WITH A MERCH STORE - https://teespring.

The official investigation seems to be ending or is over, but for Felisa, this is still the beginning of the gradual unraveling of it all. She doesn't know what happened, and it seems like no clue is helping. But talking might.

While it's only be a few hours since her last message, Felisa is once again exhausted. A string of conflicts and potentially bad ideas will do that to someone. CW: general show-wide warning for ableism ---- Sound Effects from

Another round of conflicts has Felisa exhausted, particularly because this one came with a few more realizations than any one person in her situation can handle. CW: general show-wide warning for ableism; episode specific warning for parent/child dysf...

Some conflicts may be behind her, but there's potentially another on the horizon. But hey, it's nothing Felisa isn't used to. There are ups and downs. It's the ability to change that's a bit lost on her. CW: general show-wide warning for ableism; epis...

Felisa wants things to get better. She always has, but to map out a road like that is hard. Felisa may think she knows the first step, but that certainly doesn't mean she can take it. CW: general show-wide warning for ableism; episode specific warning...

It almost sounds like a bad riddle. What do a French musical protagonist and Felisa have in common? It probably should be nothing, but maybe Felisa is more desperate for something to ground herself to than you think.  

Editor's Note: Apologies that this episode is late. We had a feline emergency at the studio headquarters, as it were. Baby Boy Minx should be hope in a few hours.   Felisa should be resting, but true to character, she isn't. She's scared.

The first in a backlog of recordings Felisa's professor will get in one batch. Because Felisa is losing access to WiFi out on the road. At a bad time and on a bad quest, you could say. She even says. But she does it anyway.  

Felisa has reached a destination, not that she knows the details. CW: general show-wide warning for ableism, this episode brings it up to suicidal ideation; specific episode warning for a very poor and unadvisable decision ----

Felisa thinks therefore she is...? Actually, she's transcended that. But that won't make it any easier. CW: general show-wide warning for ableism ---- End song from ----

Regardless of what happened, Felisa has returned changed. Accepting this new road, or what that brings, is where the uncertainty lies.   CW: general show-wide warning for ableism ---- End song from ---- https://www.

Felisa is waiting for her reckoning, waiting to answer for her choices. For now, though, she's facing the bookshelf that started it all and a few steps before that.   CW: general show-wide warning for ableism ---- End song from SoundslikeanEarful.

Felisa's mother is still not home. She's not even nearby. And she prepares for a conversation she'd rather avoid, Felisa spells out the key difference between the two women.   CW: general show-wide warning for ableism. In this episode,

Felisa is up late, late enough to see an email come in from the other side of the world. And awake enough to understand what the answer means. For better or worse.   CW: general show-wide warning for ableism. ---- End song from SoundslikeanEarful.

Well, it happened. Felisa and her mother spoke. Now it's time to report the aftermath.   CW: general show-wide warning for ableism. Episode specific CW for parental dysfunction and referenced suicide ideation ---- End song from SoundslikeanEarful.

Departures are never easy, but this one is unique. Felisa has one more goodbye to make.   CW: general show-wide warning for ableism ---- End song from   ----

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