The Cryptonaturalist

"    The Cryptonaturalist " Podcast
The CryptoNaturalist is a scripted bi-weekly podcast that explores strange nature. A bit true. Mostly fiction. New episodes 3rd/17th.

Copyright:
Jarod K. Anderson

A new cryptid discovered in a Waffle House parking lot.

A fateful trip to the hidden island of Lower Nantucket brings us face-to-face with the legendary Teacup Whale (and other assorted wonders of the deep).

A visit to Oregon’s Sky Lake Wilderness brings us a glimpse of a rare bird that fishes from its perch in the vast abyss of outer space.

We pass the long miles with a story of a rare and dangerous cryptid that lurks in the dark, lonely wilds. Not all visitors are friendly and a light in the darkness isn’t always a sign of hope. My old friend Russell Van Atta learned these hard lessons in the dark woods not far from Parkersburg, West Virginia.

Today we meet a tiny spider that defies the laws of physics in a place that is, at best, semi-real. We also hear a transmission from another Cryptonaturalist in the field and read some flash fiction by Jamie Lackey.

What's in your basement? Find out on this episode featuring podcasting legend Justin McElroy.

On this episode we visit a special amphibian perfectly adapted to life in parking lots.

Special thanks to Cal Cleary for playing the Kroger employee.

John Muir life and times: https://www.nps.gov/jomu/learn/historyculture/people.htm

A good sample of John Muir’s essays: https://www.theatlantic.com/author/john-muir/


This week the show takes a half-remembered expedition to a strange forest that manipulates minds, shares secrets, and consumes memories.

If you stop to check, it turns out that not all barns are barns.

This week we explore safety, discover a very unusual snake, and receive an important update about squirrels.

When you find the dirt road with the unnamed creature, obey the rules, respect the emptiness, and make peace with the fact that not everything is there for your convenience.

What creature swims through the ocean of the sky? What could graze within the storm? I know the answer. Listen and you will too.

This week we visit home territory and visit a special grove of sassafras trees.

We’re all made of star stuff, some of us more literally than others.

Today we visit an elusive cryptid that hides in plain sight and borrows human voices.

The CryptoNaturalist is missing, but Cassandra is on the case.

The Cryptonaturalist is lost and then found in the usual place, a twisted scientist’s volcano lair.

A strange visitor joins the CryptoNaturalist around the campfire for a pleasant, if one-sided, conversation.

There’s a wilderness inside every library. This episode visits one of the nocturnal residents after closing time.

Beneath our feet, the under hawks glide in search of shadows to pluck from the surface of the world.

The patchwork islands of greenery nestled on the edges of roadways hold secrets worth our attention.

You can’t always believe your ears and you shouldn’t trust cute, furry faces peering up from the sea.

Today we learn about the small, migratory songbird that’s bigger than all existence.

You are a cryptid worthy of study, a creature of the marshland night, a fascinating animal who is about to make a new friend.

This is a bonus episode from the CryptoNaturalist Patreon page. Subscribing to our Patreon page supports the show and unlocks more bonus content. Visit www.patreon.com/cryptonaturalist for details.

I don’t want to alarm you, but today’s creature is a lot closer to you than it is to me.

Cats are cats, even when they’re also trees or crustaceans.

This episode was co-written by Alice Pow. You can find Alice on twitter @AlicePow8. Special thanks to Matt Young for playing Skipper McCloud. You probably know Matt as Usidore the Blue from (one of my favorite podcasts) Hello from the Magic Tavern. The premiere of Magic Tavern season three that starts on July 22nd.

Hidden Lore poetry by Aspen Hougen. Aspen Hougen is a poet and anti-racist educator. She lives in Montana's Gallatin Valley with her wife and son. Find her on Twitter @anagyo_yo.


If you crawl into a burrow to meet its owner, it’s good to keep an open mind and a close eye on all your body parts.

When a landscape chooses a rhyme scheme, we must join in the poetry.

This episode is written as a series of Shakespearean sonnets.

Hidden lore by Leslie J. Anderson


There’s a cemetery that has never had a proper gate, but we’ll explore it all the same.

The CryptoNaturalist has been nominated for the 2019 Audio Verse awards in the categories of: Spoken Word – Program; Spoken Word – Writing; and Spoken Word – Performance. Visit https://audioverseawards.net/ before October, 31st to vote.


Owls know about you. The least you can do is know about them.

Special thanks to Hank Green. Hank Green is the CEO of Complexly, a production company that creates educational content, including Crash Course and SciShow, prompting The Washington Post to name him "one of America's most popular science teachers." Hank co-hosts Dear Hank and John, an advice podcast, and Delete This, a review of his Twitter feed. Find out more about Hank’s many delightful projects at HankGreen.com.


There are many voices in the woods. The more you listen, the more you’ll here.

Special thanks to Ella Watts for voicing Juniper Grey. Ella Watts is a podcast producer for BBC Studios, and executive producer for the science fiction drama podcast The Orphans, a terrifying adventure about robots, clones and friendship. You can find Ella on Twitter @GejWatts , or follow her podcast @OrphansAudio. Find out more about The Orphans at orphanspod.com

Exclusive stickers, pins, shirts, and access to bonus content and strange expertise on strange topics awaits you at our patreon page. Patreon.com/CryptoNaturalist.

You’ll find information about submitting your poetry or prose for our hidden lore segments in the about section of our website at CryptoNaturalist.com. The CryptoNaturalist is written and read by Jarod K. Anderson. Thanks to Adam Hurt for the use of his song Garfield’s Blackberry Blossom off of his album Insight. For more information on Adam’s music, performances, and teaching, visit adamhurt.com.


Some of my favorite trees are actually fifty-foot insects.

Special thanks to Jesse Thorn. Jesse Thorn is the host and producer of Bullseye and Jordan, Jesse, Go!, and the co-host and producer of Judge John Hodgman. He's also the founder and proprietor of the Maximum Fun podcast network. I must say, that if it wasn’t for the Maximum Fun network, I’m not sure that I ever would have taken an interest in podcasts or started this show. So, thank you, Jesse.

Hidden Lore poetry by Terry Maggert.

Terry Maggert is an Author. He’s left-handed. He likes dragons, coffee, waffles, running, and giraffes. Not necessarily in that order. With 32 novels and a dozen short stories, he’s certainly got something to thrill, anger, or leave you wondering why he didn't become a professional baker. He doesn’t sleep, but you probably guessed that already. Find his work on Amazon and Audible. Follow him on Twitter @TerryMaggert.

Exclusive stickers, pins, shirts, and access to bonus content and strange expertise on strange topics awaits you at our patreon page. Patreon.com/CryptoNaturalist.

You’ll find information about submitting your poetry or prose for our hidden lore segments in the about section of our website at CryptoNaturalist.com. The CryptoNaturalist is written and read by Jarod K. Anderson. Thanks to Adam Hurt for the use of his song Garfield’s Blackberry Blossom from his album Insight. For more information on Adam’s music, performances, and teaching, visit adamhurt.com.


Special thanks to Jo Firestone for today’s field report. Jo Firestone is a Brooklyn-based comedian who can be seen on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon, Joe Pera Talks With You, High Maintenance, Shrill, The Chris Gethard Show, and others. She can be heard on Maximum Fun’s Dr. Gameshow, a podcast she co-hosts with Manolo Moreno. Her album, "The Hits" is available on Comedy Central Records, and if you like puns, check out Punderdome: A Card Game for Pun Lovers. She is very willing work with animals please consider her for animals.

Hidden Lore poetry by Luísa Black. Luísa Black is an anarcho-swampist and amateur ecologist methodically inspecting mosses in the coastal wetlands of southeastern Virginia. Her work has been published in Rabble Lit and under several prestigious overpasses. Her loyalties lie with the lichens.

Exclusive stickers, pins, shirts, and access to bonus content and strange expertise on strange topics awaits you at our patreon page. Patreon.com/CryptoNaturalist.

You’ll find information about submitting your poetry or prose for our hidden lore segments in the about section of our website at CryptoNaturalist.com. The CryptoNaturalist is written and read by Jarod K. Anderson. Thanks to Adam Hurt for the use of his song Garfield’s Blackberry Blossom from his album Insight. For more information on Adam’s music, performances, and teaching, visit adamhurt.com.


The CryptoNaturalist gets philosophical about meaning, life, magic, and you.

The quiet folk are there. Sort of. Let’s not call too much attention to them.

The train in the pines is a great getaway provided you can get there and then get away.

Hidden lore poetry by Annie McAndrew. Annie is a writer of speculative fiction from the edge of the Texas Hill Country. She can be found exploring the local creek trails and other odd, fantastical worlds.


A simple old tale about a RV, a cosmic bat, and a low Earth orbit mosquito.

There are many places to hide strange nature. Mountaintop snows. Undersea trenches. In your pocket. Thanks to The Pine Hill Haints for permission to play their song. You should get to know them. Visit thepinehillhaints.com to learn more.

Hidden lore poetry by Hal Y. Zhang. Hal Y. Zhang is a lapsed physicist who splits her time between ghosts of her once-green plants and the Internet, where she writes at halyzhang.com. Her language-and-loss chapbook AMNESIA was published by Newfound, and her women-with-sharp-things collection Goddess Bandit of the Thousand Arms is forthcoming from Aqueduct Press.


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