The Amelia Project

" The Amelia Project " Podcast
The Amelia Project is a secret agency that fakes its clients' deaths, then lets them reappear with a brand new identity! A black comedy full of secrets, twists... and cocoa. The series starts as a succession of interviews with clients who want to fake their deaths, then slowly a larger narrative begins to emerge... Each episode tells its own story, but we recommend starting with Season 1.
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Copyright:
© Imploding Fictions
RSS:
https://rss.art19.com/the-amelia-project
Season: 1
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“But I can't work without cocoa!”
Season: 1 Episode: 1
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"Prove you're the best…Call me."
Season: 1
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“What are those numbers?
Season: 1 Episode: 1
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"How quickly can this be done? I don’t have much time. I leave planet Earth tonight."
Season: 1
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"I'm so excited... Everything's ready. There's a pot of Empress Grey brewing."
Season: 1 Episode: 2
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"Hello. It’s Alicia Cairn. Yes, THE Alicia Cairn. Whatever the hell that means."
Season: 1
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“What? We're out of bubble liquid?”
Season: 1 Episode: 3
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"What do you want? Who are you?"
Season: 1
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“Hello from our launch party in Oslo!”
Season: 1 Episode: 4
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"It's all just so wonderful I can't get away!"
Season: 1
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“A mobile phone? Why why why why why why? Why would you do this to me?”
Season: 1 Episode: 5
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“Your answerphone message is paradoxical. Please answer this question: If there is no phone call, how could I hear the message?”
Season: 1
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”So the world is about to end?”
Season: 1 Episode: 6
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“I’ve messed up. Big time. There has to be a way out... And you’re going to help me find it...”
Season: 1
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"What's the point Alvina! It's all so boring!"
Season: 1 Episode: 7
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“There are thirty one million people waiting for me.”
Season: 1
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“I'm bleeding!”
Season: 1 Episode: 8
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"He opened the bottomless pit, and there arose a smoke out of the pit, as the smoke of a great furnace, and the sun and the air were darkened by the smoke.”
Season: 1
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“Don't even finish that sentence.”
Season: 1 Episode: 9
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“They’re following my every move. They’re listening to every word I say. Every. Single. Word.”
Season: 1
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"This is a pilgrimage Alvina, a pilgrimage!"
Season: 1
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“Alvina, this is going to knock your socks off!”
Season: 1 Episode: 10
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“Coincidence is the word we use when we can't see the levers and pulleys.”
Season: 1
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“I bet you a spring roll they'll be calling us.”
Season: 1 Episode: 11
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“Take the 4:20am from Paddington and bring matches, a compass, carabiner hooks and Maltesers."
Season: 1
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“Leave your message after the beep.”
Season: 1 Episode: 12
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“Are you sitting comfortably?”
Season: 1 Episode: 13
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“If I’m not out of here by Christmas... I’ll be dead.”
Season: 1
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Special announcement from the Amelia team! For bonus content visit Patreon: 
Season: 1
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“Help! The season 2 launch is next week, and I’m not ready! My computer crashed and the producers are complete maniacs! I need to disappear now!”
Season: 2 Episode: 14
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“That I am willing to leave the lagoon to meet you, demonstrates how desperate I am.”
Season: 2 Episode: 15
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“There's a tape here marked ‘NOT AMELIA MATERIAL’.”
Season: 2 Episode: 16
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“You'll be sleeping with the fishes.”
Season: 2 Episode: 17
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“At Amelia we’ve always wanted to get into politics.”
Season: 2 Episode: 18
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“Dunno. I think it's Gaelic.”
Season: 2 Episode: 19
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“I’m trapped in a nightmare! I can’t wake up! Heeeeeelp!”
Season: 2 Episode: 20
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“Congratulations. You’ve reached The Brotherhood of the Phoenix.”
Season: 2 Episode: 21
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“They’re after me. The Chinese. The Americans. The Russians. The Turks. The North Koreans. I don’t think I’ll last long under torture…”
Season: 2 Episode: 22
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“I always obey the dice.”
Season: 2 Episode: 23
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“You’re in the future listening to me in the past announcing something that’s about to happen… which is a little bit odd.” Philip is on his way to the very first Amelia Project live show in the UK, and he’s got exciting news! Website:...
Season: 2 Episode: 23
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“It's so frustrating to be born into the wrong millennium.”
Season: 2
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We've reached one million downloads!  Here's a thank you from the Amelia gang.  Cocoa for everyone!  Do you want to become a patron of the show and get access to case files, minisodes and other extra material? Then check out our Patreon...
Season: 2 Episode: 24
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“There was no need to drag Pancake into this!”
Season: 2
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“Hello? Have I reached The SCP Archives? This is Alvina. Our offices are getting wrecked.”
Season: 2
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“Amelia! I need you now! I’m absolutely desperate!”
Season: 2
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“Amelia. I’m going mad again. And it’s not an itch this time.”
Season: 2
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“But, I have you! It’s you and me. We’re in this together, and together we can… I’m talking to the tape recorder.”
Season: 2
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“The reason I haven’t called is because I’ve been... in hiding!”
Season: 2
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“Okay, time for my self-interview…”
Season: 2
“Okay, time for my self-interview…” Episode 5 of the bonus miniseason The Lockdown Tapes. Note that these minisodes stand alone and do not follow on from the end of season 2. Check out Crypto-Z! Subscribe on Website: Website: Twitter: Patreon:
Season: 2
“The world might be in lockdown, but people still need to disappear.” Episode 6 of the bonus miniseason The Lockdown Tapes. Note that these minisodes stand alone and do not follow on from the end of season 2. Check out ! Website: Twitter: Patreon:
Season: 2
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“The world might be in lockdown, but people still need to disappear.”
Season: 2
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“Gosh - I think you’ve just started with a question we can’t actually answer!”
Season: 3
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“We can just do Ip Dip Doo.”
Season: 3 Episode: 25
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“He’s right. We said we’d let the dice decide.”
Season: 3 Episode: 26
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“It's time to implement the third option. ”
Season: 3
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“Woof! Woof!”
Season: 3 Episode: 27
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“When are you going to take the bag off my head?”
Season: 3 Episode: 28
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“I had to steal a motorbike, shake off five policemen and stab a bloke to get here.”
Season: 3
“Do you want to help us compete against some of the Goliaths of podcasting?” The Amelia Project is a finalist for BEST OVERALL PODCAST in the 2020 Discover Pods Awards!
Season: 3 Episode: 29
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“That’s what’s landed me in this cluster fuddle: I’m just way too good!”
Season: 3 Episode: 30
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“Look at that... A mansion. A mansion in the jungle...”
Season: 3 Episode: 31
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“Oleg, I'm so bored!”
Season: 3 Episode: 32
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"I need a genius."
Season: 3
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"Vodka in cocoa, now that’s quite the treat!"
Season: 3 Episode: 33
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“Do you always arrive by propeller airplane?”
Season: 3
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“My name is Fredrik Baden. I’m a composer from Oslo, Norway, and this is How I Make Music.”
Season: 3
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“We've just got one week left until the launch of Season Three Part Two! And it's not going to write itself!”
Season: 3
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“Sign up for potato peeling! Potato duty is the only time prisoners can talk in private!”
Season: 3 Episode: 34
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“Hello. I’m Pablo Perez Garcia. I’m the leader of the Panaraguan Pythons. Now, you are going to help me.”
Season: 3 Episode: 35
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“My name is Oleg Kamenev.”
Season: 3 Episode: 36
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“Oh god. I feel... drowsy. Where am I?”
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"Alvina! I'd like to keep listening to my new favorite podcast!” Hello dear Amelia listeners, we’re popping up here in between episodes to promote another show we think you might enjoy: Orphan Black: The Next Chapter. We’ll be playing you an episode of Orphan Black: The Next Chapter, book-ended with some Amelia sketches! You can get hooked on season one now, and that's just the beginning: Season 2 is coming this Autumn! Listen to Orphan Black: The Next Chapter, available wherever you get your podcasts. There's nothing we love more than being able to introduce our listeners to great audio fiction, from exciting producers such as Realm. Realm call themselves "Part podcast studio, part magical refuge" and I'm sure you'll agree with that, once you listen to Orphan Black: The Next Chapter. Many thanks to Realm for their support! You can listen to Orphan Black: The Next Chapter here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/orphan-black-the-next-chapter/id1559581654 For credits and more information about the show, check out Realm’s website: https://www.realm.fm/shows/orphan-black The Amelia sketches feature Alan Burgon and Julia C. Thorne. Written and directed by Oystein U. Brager. Sound designed by Fredrik Baden. For full credits see our website. The Amelia Project is an audio fiction series. We recommend starting at the beginning. Congratulations. You’ve reached the content warning. The Amelia Project is about death, mishaps, mayhem and misfortune. And cocoa. If you’re not comfortable with this, stop listening. Now. The Amelia Project is part of the Fable & Folly Network. Find and support our sponsors at: fableandfolly.com/partners Website: ameliapodcast.com Twitter: @amelia_podcast Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ameliapodcast See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Season: 3 Episode: 37
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“Oh, wow, that is a... very small gun.”
Season: 3 Episode: 38
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“Don't fret. Most people can't go five minutes without lying.”
Season: 3 Episode: 39
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“This is really going tits up isn't it.”
Season: 3
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“Is that one called ‘Will my cat eat my eyeballs’!?!” Hi dear listener! We all know that “there is always time for a story”. That’s why we are delighted to introduce you to our sponsor Storybound! Storybound is a radio theater program designed for the podcast age. In each episode, listeners will be treated to their favorite authors and writers reading some of their most impactful stories, designed with powerful and immersive sound environments. We have chosen an episode for you to give you a taste of what Storybound is like. As you can hear in the introduction, it’s an episode with a title that immediately catches the Interviewer’s attention! The episode you’re about to hear is “Caitlin Doughty reads an excerpt from her novel "Will My Cat Eat My Eyeballs?"" with sound design and music composition by Stephanie Strange. I know you appreciate a good story as much as we do; so please check out Storybound from our sponsors Lit Hub Radio and The Podglomerate. You can find Storybound anywhere you listen to podcasts. And now settle back, relax and enjoy this special episode from Storybound. You can listen to Storybound here: https://pod.link/1479333981 For credits and more information about the show, check out Storybound’s website: https://thepodglomerate.com/shows/storybound/ The Amelia sketch features Alan Burgon and Julia C. Thorne. Written by Maty Parzival Directed by Oystein U. Brager. Sound designed by Fredrik Baden. For full credits see our website. The Amelia Project is an audio fiction series. We recommend starting at the beginning. Congratulations. You’ve reached the content warning. The Amelia Project is about death, mishaps, mayhem and misfortune. And cocoa. If you’re not comfortable with this, stop listening. Now. The Amelia Project is part of the Fable & Folly Network. Find and support our sponsors at: fableandfolly.com/partners Website: ameliapodcast.com Twitter: @amelia_podcast Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ameliapodcast See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Season: 3 Episode: 40
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“Tell me about the Robot Raves!”
Season: 3 Episode: 41
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“Why do people in this country always hide in the shadows?!”
Season: 3
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“He’s our only connection to The Amelia Project!”
Season: 3
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“The answers to those questions are… maybe, maybe and maybe! Amelia is all about the secrets…”
Season: 3
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“I know this is a bit unorthodox of me, but right now I’ve got a car full of sinners with a mighty burden to get off their shoulders.”
Season: 3
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“I must confess, I’ve never done this whole sit in a secret booth and unburden myself to a stranger behind a privacy screen thing.”
Season: 3
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“The whole thing was senselessly naive.”
Season: 3
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"There's a new message on the answerphone... a peculiar one!"
Season: 4 Episode: 42
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"We've got some ballet to see!"
Season: 4 Episode: 43
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“He’s comin’ for me. But I'm damn well not gonna let him take my soul.”
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Need something to tide you over until our next episode? We've got you covered!
Season: 4 Episode: 44
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“We will get you some clothes as soon as we can, Mr. Kozlowski.”
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Is this related to the Royal Astronomical Society disappearance?
Season: 4 Episode: 45
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“I’m just a… bad omen.”
Season: 4
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"Hello? I'm Alvina... I... Is this a good time?"
Season: 4 Episode: 46
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"I can tell you a story..."
Season: 4
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Ahoy, bucko!
Season: 4 Episode: 47
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“Who do you need to screw around here to get a Budweiser and a bag of chips?”
Season: 4
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"Leave your message after the beep"
Season: 4 Episode: 48
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“I'm tired of your half baked hallucinations and fabricated fever dreams! I'm gonna tell you something that really happened.”
Season: 4 Episode: 49
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"Only the bravest souls dare enter Monsieur Rêve's Dream Interpretorium..."
Season: 4 Episode: 50
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“So you have looked into the face of death! Stared at his blue complexion, heard his ragged breath!”

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