listen to love here
One year ago, I abruptly left my husband after 10 years of marriage. Sitting next to him on our couch, without warning I blurted, “I want a divorce.” It shocked both of us, but I meant it. Five weeks later, I moved into a small 1-bedroom apartment in Brooklyn.
A year has been enough to let the turmoil settle, and it recently dawned on me: I am 39 years old, single, co-parenting a golden retriever with my ex. This is not where I pictured myself on the cusp of 40. I feel duped. I did everything I was supposed to do. I found someone who made me feel drunk with love, and I married them. And it didn’t work.
I ask myself now:
How did I get here?
How did this happen?
Why did this happen?
Why was love not enough? And what the hell is love anyway?
I’m starting to think I have no idea what love is. Then again, does anybody? I decided to ask everyone I know about love, how they perceive it, and whether they believe that romantic love truly exists.
I like to think with every voice I listen to, I might get closer to understanding the question: What is love?