Life With Althaar

" Life With Althaar " Podcast
We are midway through the 26th Century, out at the edge of Human space, in the Teegarden system. John B, a humble repairman and ”former human” (having lost his legal status as such), has left the Earth for mysterious reasons. He is perhaps the unluckiest being in the galaxy. He has wound up at the Human Exchange Concourse, or the ”HEC,” once the site of Humanity’s First Galactic Fair. It was the biggest flop in Human history. ”The Fairgrounds” is perhaps the unluckiest place in Human space. You don’t go there, you end up there. John’s luck seems to have changed when he gets a good apartment at an amazingly reasonable price only to find his roommate is Althaar, an Iltorian, who is determined to befriend a Human (Iltorians are the kindest, nicest species in all known space, and natural diplomats, beloved by almost all, but their slightest presence causes Humans to instinctively respond with panic, fear, disgust, nausea, and loss of bodily functions). Can a Human and Iltorian live together without one of them driving the other crazy?
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Season: 1 Episode: 1
In which John B. arrives at The Fairgrounds, a space station in the Teegarden's System commonly known as the unluckiest place in Human space, and finds himself living with Althaar, the nicest being you'd ever want to meet, from a species whose very presence in any way causes Humans to react instinctively with fear, panic, and nausea. As John goes about his new day and job on the Fairgrounds, he meets many of the other beings who have wound up there, and discovers that even the simplest day-to-day existence on the station is basically a death-defying act.
Season: 1 Episode: 2
In which Dee's backup band at The Electric Egg leaves The Fairgrounds, and Dee learns to her horror why you should always sign a contract based on local time. Althaar attempts to get closer to his new roommate John B through meditation, with disastrous results. And a new Xbidont musician, a 12-armed virtuoso on 5 instruments at once, arrives on station, and may be the answer to at least one of Dee's problems, if only he weren't, like so many of his species, a peanut butter junkie.
Season: 1 Episode: 3
In which the omnipresent (and possibly omnipotent), multidimensional Lt. Frall chooses to finally take some time off, but sends a future version of themself back in time to take their place and be present again when The Fairgrounds' senior staff is visited by The Fidorians, a friendly, dog-like species that turns out to have a surprisingly dark side, as the demand the return of an unknown item known to be on the station. Perhaps Sherlock HolmesBot and his associate Veronica Gardens can help find the mysterious mcguffin. Meanwhile, The Electric Egg runs afoul of the all-powerful Musicians Union, and must placate their rep, Mo Stolber, if they don't want to be shut down.
Season: 1 Episode: 4
In which a disaster strikes that threatens the entire station, but the robots morally won't fix it because of union rules, and humans legally can't fix it because it will kill them. Unfortunately, it turns out that John B, due to his mysterious past, falls under neither of these categories fully, and is required to perform the repair even though it will kill him. Can he figure out a solution that will keep him alive and get the repair fixed in time? And will Althaar's attempts to relax him through massage and a new Jacuzzi have any effect on his mood?
Season: 1 Episode: 5
In which an unfamiliar ship lands on The Fairgrounds, turning out to contain two "scien-technicians" from the species known as "The Luck Navigators," whose entire technology is based on riding waves of Luck and it's opposite, which they refer to by the technical term "Suck." Unfortunately, the extreme amount of suck on the station has trapped them, and chaos descends as The Fairgrounds is beset by events, large and small, of extreme good and bad fortune, which the Luck Navigators predict will end in a disastrous singularity, the Suckhole. Is John B actually at the center of it all, and is he empirically the unluckiest being in the galaxy? And will the impending disaster be averted if Commander Torianna blasts John out of an airlock? And how is this all affecting open mic night at The Electric Egg?
Season: 1 Episode: 6
In which family problems come to The Fairgrounds, as Xtopps turns out to have a surprising background, and duties he is expected to take on, peanut butter junkie or not, and John's estranged sister Susan is part of the diplomatic corps sent to handle the tricky Xbidont/League of Humans situation that is developing. Meanwhile, 3-D cribbage is played, Dee, with her backing band distracted, has to sing public domain karaoke, and MC Magnetopause takes over the egg with the old sounds of the 24th Century's hottest music craze, Dubwaltz.
Season: 1 Episode: 7
In which disaster strikes The Fairgrounds (but doesn't it always?) when a mysterious incapacitating disease strikes every non-Human on the station - including the Robots - leaving a skeleton crew to try and run the HEC and cure the disease before life-support functions totally fail. Will the Humans do it before time runs out? What disgusting things does Human comfort food do to a sick lltorian? Will John B get a date with the amazonian Sanitation Fusilier of his dreams? And why is Andrew McCarthyBot not affected by the disease?
Season: 1 Episode: 8
In which the Robot Union goes on strike, leaving The Fairgrounds in chaos, with, on top of it, most of the doors and panels saying insulting things about Commander Torianna in various Earth languages. John B, as a bridge between Humans and Robots, is conscripted by both sides to convince the other of the error of their ways. Meanwhile, with the power out and no access to more booze in The Electric Egg, adorable Fugulnari retiree plant-being Mrs. Frondrinax attempts to create a beer-brewing collective.
Season: 1 Episode: 9
In which we discover WHO is responsible for the pineapple juice that's filling up The Fairgrounds, WHAT Robots do for "tension relief," WHERE the zero-gravity Twister competition will be held if the pineapple juice can't be removed, WHEN the painfully shy Magnosians are able to mate, and HOW Althaar will learn about the "human sexing!" Answers involve weightless SCUBA diving among said pineapple juice, the exchange of vital internal parts, a lot of incredibly potent alcohol, and a much regretted favor.
Season: 1 Episode: 10
In which The Inspector calls and throws The Fairgrounds into (even more) chaos, StalinBot covets a jetpack, Althaar disguises himself as a nitrogen-fixing coolant processor, Mrs. Frondrinax amuses herself with gossip (and beats up a trash can), Cole Porter lyrics continue to offend or terminally confuse alien races, energy-being Lieutenant-Commander Frall tries out a new look (Stetson!), and we discover why you really, REALLY don't want to order the special at Sammy's Wiches.
Season: 1 Episode: 11
In which John B attempts a simple errand: returning the talking (and annoying) 3-headed "Cockathreece" that he was sent instead of the goldfish he wanted from one side of a station level to the other in under an hour. But of course, it's The Fairgrounds, which means a complicated set of detours around a scavenger hunt, broken elevators, threats from cookie-selling ScoutBots, a full-on battle between Sanitation Fusiliers and the deadly Vent Biters, an anti-gravity Twister match, and a rowboat trip to The Old Mill (who puts a lake in a space station?). All while enduring the insults of the relentless Cockathreece.
Season: 1 Episode: 12
In which is essayed A Very Special holiday episode, as Althaar wanders The Fairgrounds attempting to learn the True Meaning of Christmas so he can help his human friend John B, who is homesick for Earth. Along the way he learns about some of the many beliefs (or lack thereof) of the humans, robots, aliens, and energy beings of the station, while John sits in their apartment unsuccessfully trying to avoid Christmas media (except for making an alcohol-heavy holiday dessert).
Season: 1 Episode: 13
In which all the main characters are trapped in the disreputable bar The Electric Egg after their Christmas party when the security doors seal as several station-threatening disasters suddenly rampage. Between all of their various skills, and while stuck where they are, they must come up with a solution that will repair the tiny loose wire behind it all, which is on the other side of the station, before the Fairgrounds explodes or the residents are all eaten by the predatory xenomorphs that have emerged from their usual home in the vents. Meanwhile, the bar regulars are getting stir-crazy, and the entertainment options are limited.
Season: 1
Ian W. Hill & Berit Johnson of Gemini CollisionWorks, co-creators of LIFE WITH ALTHAAR, say hello as Season 2 approaches.
Season: 1
Althaar himself presents for you a collection of eight musical highlights from Season 1 of LIFE WITH ALTHAAR!
Season: 2 Episode: 14
In which we return to The Fairgrounds after six months to find the crew apparently happier and in considerably less danger, with no life-threatening incidents having happened for many weeks, which of course means that no one is comfortable, everyone is bored or suspicious, and, given the normally disaster-prone station, all the residents are just waiting for the other shoe to drop. And during one work cycle, a number of crew members, worried about this strange lack of turmoil, individually take extra precautions against anything going wrong, resulting, of course, in an unexpected domino effect to an unpleasant conclusion.
Season: 2 Episode: 15
In which The Syndicate comes to The Fairgrounds to make Chip Frinkel an offer he can't refuse concerning his bar, The Electric Egg: a seemingly innocent offer of a pool table. However, more turns out to be riding on the table, and a game of SuperNova on it, than first appears. Meanwhile, Althaar becomes addicted to binge-watching 21st-Century television shows.
Season: 2 Episode: 16
In which Drop Time comes again to The Fairgrounds, though several newcomers to the station have no idea what this period -- when the station drops a certain amount of days from the calendar to get in line with Earth's -- means for them. For John B, it means his birthday is getting skipped, for Dee, it means a cruel prank regarding a non-binding contract, for the energy being Lt. Frall, it means trying to drink coffee and pouring it on the floor, and for most of the crew, it means a time to slack off and ignore all rules. An angry John B searches for the hidden Timekeeping Central department, to discover the secret of The Algorithm that decides when Drop Time occurs, while H.F. takes Dee on a tour of several secret places on the station only available to the public during Drop Time.
Season: 2 Episode: 17
In which the "Steves" from an annoying but highly motivated and skilled capitalist species, the Dilurians, come to The Fairgrounds, renting a downshifted and unused level, from which they proceed to wreak havoc across the entire space station. As their new business, Cadabra, expands rapidly from selling personalized smells, they begin, in less than a day, to gentrify across the station, wiping out all the beloved homegrown businesses and replacing them with more-convenient apps providing far worse service. On top of it, Commander Torianna discovers she will have to avert an actual massacre as the Dilurians attempt to expand into the sector of the Pudendar, a proud and exiled species of warrior artists uninterested in and offended by the commercial offerings.
Season: 2 Episode: 18
In which John B, on yet another boring and routine EVA mission to fix a very small wire on the outside of The Fairgrounds, is sent hurling away from the space station by a chance explosion. As John and the bridge crew attempt in vain to find a way to bring him back (that won't kill him), all of his other friends on The Fairgrounds show up on the bridge to say hello (for no logical reason), and John suspects that, despite their assurances, it's really to say a very final goodbye. And for some reason or reasons, neither Frall nor Althaar seem to be around.
Season: 2 Episode: 19
In which Chip returns to The Electric Egg after a quick errand to find an immense booze fight in progress among just about everyone we know on The Fairgrounds. In attempting to sort out how the fight began, we are presented with eight flashbacks from amongst the crew, none of which actually in themselves do much to illuminate how the fight happened, but all of them revealing much about each character and how they see everyone else on The Fairgrounds and how they believe they are see and treated by all the others.
Season: 2 Episode: 20
In which A Murder Is Announced. A homicide in a cheap lodging turns out to have important and personal ramifications for Commander Torianna, who takes on the investigation personally. Meanwhile, Althaar, having binge-watched hours of 20th-Century Earth mystery TV shows, on discovering that Mrs. Frondrinax is implicated in the crime, decides to do his own sleuthing, dragging the hapless John B along on what may or may not be a wild goose chase. At the same time, a redecoration of The Electric Egg makes everyone uncomfortable for undefinable reasons, Sherlock HolmesBot is disabled, evidence is stolen by a dog, and Mixology is only a red herring.
Season: 2 Episode: 21
In which John tries to share the Halloween tradition of watching scary movies with Althaar, and only succeeds in truly terrifying his friend with the mere idea that Humans could rise from the grave, as zombies are a completely and literally alien idea to all non-Human species. Meanwhile, controversial broadcaster Beaux Several arrives on the Fairgrounds after damaging several other civilizations by "just asking questions," and promptly charms and angers the locals in roughly equal amounts, while causing more trouble by promoting the Mrs. Frondrinax-created rumor that Humans actually can control the dead. And the other species on the Fairgrounds begin to form some Human-hating angry mobs.
Season: 2 Episode: 22
In which the Day of the Fugulnari Ascension arrives.
Season: 2 Episode: 23
In which the citizens of the Fairgrounds try to figure out the rules and limits of living under the new "suggestions" from the Fugulnari Advisory Committee. While Fugulnari agent Mrs. Frondrinax has her own problems in a new assignment creating a trade deal with the Bee People, Commander Torianna finds herself in a now mostly formal position, John B and Stella rarely get to see each other because of interference in their work schedules by the new management, drunk and arrogant Fugulnari cause problems at The Electric Egg, and H.F. searches desperately to find a safe place where Miss Sophie can now do her business.
Season: 2 Episode: 24
In which the Fugulnari "advisors" impose strict restrictions on movement for all Humans on The Fairgrounds. Very literally. To increase efficiency and decrease unnecessary movement, all Humans must wear pedometers and walk no more than 4,000 steps per day. However, between shortening the length of the "day" to not quite four hours, and also increasing the amount of alcohol that must be in the drinks at The Electric Egg, their efficiency campaign proves hideously misguided. Meanwhile, after a group of Fugulnari bullies dognap Miss Sophie, H.F. and John B attempt what should be a classic daring vent-crawl rescue, as long as they use the correct vents and only get a little damp, rather than boiled alive.
Season: 2 Episode: 25
In which Christmas comes again to the Fairgrounds in the form of dueling parties from two of the station's least-likely proponents of the holiday, Mrs. Frondrinax the Fugulnari and Althaar the Iltorian. While everyone wishes, or at least would prefer, to got to the lovable Althaar's party, most of the crew is mandatorily required to attend Frondrinax's - one of the benefits to being part of a fascist take over of the station. However Althaar and Chip Frinkel have a plan to steal Christmas back, or at least, destroy the Fugulnari's Christmas plans. Meanwhile, new Ensign Candy Cameron lives out her life as a character in her very own traditional Christmas movie.
Season: 2 Episode: 26
In which the kettle boils over. As the Fugulnari's repressive "suggestions" are given the force of law by the occupied League of Humans, making life on the Fairgrounds even more unpleasant than before, the Human residents and their allies try to find ways around, under, over, or through the edicts, believing still that the occupation may just fail on its own. But it becomes clear the Fugulnari are not stopping. And then the violence comes. And everyone on the Human Exchange Concourse -- John, H.F., Stella, the command staff on the Bridge, the denizens of The Electric Egg, and, yes, even that lovable peacemaker Althaar -- all must decide where they now stand, and what moves they will make in the future.
Season: 3 Episode: 27
In which we return after six months to a Fairgrounds both very different, and somehow much the same. Life under the Fugulnari Occupation has become a nightmare of new restrictions and bureaucracy, but somehow the Human Exchange Concourse remains running in the same dilapidated way it always has. As Torianna, Frall, and Althaar attempt to thwart the Fugulnari through diplomatic means, Stella Reyes's Resistance fights them on the ground. And John B, caught in the middle as a secret double-agent, must seek out information to help the Resistance while being publicly hated as a Fugulnari collaborator. And how is Dee sneaking her recordings of protest songs out of her cell in solitary confinement?
Season: 3 Episode: 28
In which tension, apprehension, and dissension have, if not begun, continued apace. As Frondrinax attempts to secretly guide an official fact-finding mission around the Fairgrounds, doing all she can to avoid showing the Fugulnari oppression of Humans, the Resistance and Commander Torianna do all they can to subvert her efforts, being aided in this by the sudden arrival of a delegation of surprisingly-disturbing aliens. Meanwhile, Althaar receives advice on his concerns about John B from a noted, if exceptionally drunk, actor.
Season: 3 Episode: 29
In which the documentary on the Fugulnari occupation of the Fairgrounds is broadcast, and all of the residents who hoped it would show the truth of what is happening there are indeed amazed at what can be done in post. Meanwhile, with most of the station distracted by the documentary, the Resistance attempts to take advantage of a temporary glitch in security to install monitoring devices in the brig, allowing them more direct access to the political prisoner, Dee.
Season: 3 Episode: 30
In which the various groups and people of the Fairgrounds opposed to the authoritarian rule of the Fugulnari over the Humans seek out alliances with other species to aid their cause. For Torianna, this means a most-unanticipated meeting with the Dilurians. For John, it means a history lesson on Robot/Human Labor Relations. For Xtopps, it means a slight return to his aristocratic roots. And for Althaar, it means a surprise visit from some Gendarans.
Season: 3 Episode: 31
In which, for the good of his friends, Xtopps decides he has to kick his peanut butter habit, and we experience the horrors of a Xybidont in withdrawal from the cursed legume. Meanwhile, Vert accidentally stumbles upon the Resistance's secret domain, and must choose between joining them, or probably being blown out an airlock, if you call that a choice.
Season: 3 Episode: 32
In which we meet Drew, who is full of hate. Drew hates the Fugulnari, with very good reason. Drew hates John B, for what appears to be good reason. Drew is full of hate because he has had his love taken away from him, and is now on a journey of revenge and discovery across the Fairgrounds that might be far more dangerous to his allies than to their common enemy.
Season: 3
In which Ian & Berit, the co-creators of LIFE WITH ALTHAAR announce the postponement of episode 33, and make a polite request for donations (and tell you how to do that).
Season: 3 Episode: 33
In which John B finds himself in apparent danger, and for once, it‘s actually unexpected. Dinorbiax and Fracottiverx, the strange-talking Fugulnari enforcers, have dragged him into an interrogation room to discuss some of his recent behavior, which, despite John‘s actions as a double-agent for the Resistance, are mostly explainable. Mostly. Meanwhile, life goes on at The Fairgrounds, as thought is given by Dee and Xtopps to future plans for after the conflict is over (one way or another), Stella and H.F. consider a rescue mission, Frall and Torianna discuss garbage and less-appealing things, and Frondrinax, in an attempt to distract Althaar from John B‘s unavailability, challenges the Iltorian to a little game of pool.
Season: 3
Once again, there is a delay in the release of the next episode of Life With Althaar. Sorry about that, listeners. Ian & Berit have some words on the subject here, with the help of some unexpected visitors to the Gemini CollisionWorks Radiophonic Workshop.

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